inspiring....

hmmm...today post will be a long one i think hahaha....eh...lets see...today went out with kath...to buy my black pants...for work de...hmmm...went to this fashion...walk around...but those clothes...dunno la...kind of cmi haha...hmm....kath plan to study de...but...we shop until 2 but she needs to go off at 3...so i told her might as well go walk walk window shopping...so pai seh...waste her precious time to study....de atmosphere was not realli fun actually....though we did chat around...juz feel its was not realli rite...guess every1 is tense n stress for exam...n depress over some stuff...oki....lets see...after tat...kath went for her tuition class....so i went back too...instead of heading home....i actually went to de jurong east library....well its kind of funni....i usually hate going to de library but y did i go there??? lol well i dunno...ppl do change i guess....

de books i look at...r more of ....self improvement books...rather than storybooks ba....i was looking at de physchology section...(always hav been interested in this kind of books...but i hate those thick thick bookS!)...eh...then i look...n seach to see if there is anything interesting books to read....then i came across...one...babara's confidence boook....wow...realli suits mi...so i read de 1st few pages....but somehow i went to check on other books as well...one is abt de dream book..seems interesting tooo...so i went to find a seat....i start reading de confidence book....ah...its realli sounds like wat i am going through...which is bad....

i cound not remember all de points...but...well some were realli hard to forget....3 kind of confidence....tat we muz build up...1st is emotional behaviour...argh...forget de 2nd 1.....stupid memory fail mi...last 1 was spiritual behaviour....often...ppl with no confidence has a low self esteem...which is so like mi....then...often ppl need to feel confidence once they hav accomplish something...but this is not true confidence...true confidence is within u...cannot be taken away from u de.....well...de book even say...ppl muz hav a dream n goal...in order to live life to de fullest...accomplishing those things which u noe u can do it its not satisfing...we r onli limiting our life...on de things we do...had to take on challenges n not to avoid them...tats how u gain confidence...take it step by step...so when u start on it...u r slowly building on it...eh...

ppl usually likes to be in negative or low self esteem...becoz of de previlages they get from it...such as more attention n sympanthy ba...n encouragement....becoz ppl tend to encourage u to get back on feet...tats y...ppl prefer to be on de negative side...so they dun hav to do anything...ARGH...tats so like mi...always need ppl to assure my existance....de book even mention....we muz find out wat we realli feel...coz we always hav confused feeling...after tat...talk it out...so tat it wont bother us?...hmm...

well...now i am confused haha...coz...i forget wat de book is abt liao...oki...in summary....i feel...i should change...to build up my confidence...so i can be wat i really wan to be...n not juz to please ppl so tat...they will like mi....i need to start loving myself...n noe that my existance is a nescessary...i am needed...ppl in life...go through all de mistakes n failures b4 they r realli sucessful...they r also scare of new stuff they encounter...so muz try n deal with de challlenges...de book was realli inspiring...i should stop finding excuses on de things i cant do le....all else...i wont fulfill much in life...like tat i will be forever unhappy...forever bin chao chao...well..realli need to change...so ppl also cannot make use of mi...or manipulate mi....muz hav confidence in oneself...its not showing off....i guess its sign of luving wat u do with ur own ability...n its alright to ask ppl for help de...coz wat u acheieve is much greater...hahhaha...those ppl who likes to tell u how good they are without u asking abt it...usually is not tat good as they claim they r...usually is opposite bahz lol...coz they need to reassure themselves tat they hav confidence tooo...well...applies to some ppl bahz...might be true n might not?well...realli good book to read...n its not thick...spent 1hr+ to finish de book...but it realli can teach u something....tats inspiring book....believe in urself!!!