someone show me the path of light pls.......

troubled....

depressed....exam nearing....i am still not motivated to study....i feel tat i let my mum down...paying such a big amt of money to send mi to study...but i dun appreciate...take it for granted....feel like giving up...but i cant....doubting if i could pass....1 month left....i am still at nowhere....i dunno wat i want in life....

i wan to accomplish something myself...but dunno wat....so useless....good for nothing...all i can do is blaming myself...but not doing anything abt.....ARGH! i dunno...no dreams...no goals...no talents....dun i hav any strengths at all? wat de hell i wan in life? fun? love? money?

no determination...no persistence....no motivation...onli satisfied for short terms goals...too satisfied with my normal....meaningless life....too cautious to step out of my secured life...scared of failures...dun like to take risk....

conclusion...wat good use am i to de world...to my family...to my friends...to myself?

What Yingyu Means

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in. You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising. You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life. You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone. Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs. You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way. And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life. You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

ktv outing on sun 16march

a bit late to blog yea lol...today went ktv...with da jie+ aku,yigao,kiwi n johnathan....as usual aku+ his gang late....so da jie, john n mi went in 1st to sing...hmmm....so far quite oki la...but i think my singing all off keys so sian...haven realli reached de high point today.....then kiwi always like to ba zhan de remote control...so we hav to keep it realli far from him hahaha...not bad today he at least open his golden vocal to sing lol....then got 2 kids lah! put de tibits in my jacket when i was in de toilet....as i hav left it in de ktv room....kiwi dun need say la realli like xiao hai zi...yigao more cham older than mi still also wan to share de 'fun' with kiwi!!!!!.. realli wan to wack them hard hard!...coz i juz washed de jacket nia! gosh!!!!.....anyway...after dinner we went our seperate ways....da jie n mi went shopping n de rest went home....da jie realli shopping queen haha...bot 2 pairs of shoe n some earrings...actually she wanted to buy 1 more de coz its cheap...but in de end din buy lol....n guess got a bit of regret coz her grannie encouraged her to buy lol...well...tats all....

going for another singing session today(17march) with rebecca n angeline to celebrate rebecca's belated bday....gonna meet them early....so off to bed for now...tiring day...lol....

affinity fate God?

hmmm...today suppose to meet up with kath joyce n alvina to study....in de end left mi n alvina to study as kath was not feeling well...n joyce wanted to stay at home....how should i start....we were studying in coffee bean or star bucks i forget which....erm...we study for a while n chatted....there was a ang mo lady....she is used to sitting her favourite seat which we have taken so de staff told us if we could giv up de space for our bags to de lady...of coz we let her...after tat...another staff came n told us we cannot study here....so we were packing n drinking our drinks...

this friendly auntie beside us came to talk to us.....we chatted for hrs i guess though we dunoo one another lol....she was sharing her experience with us...n wondering how can we study in such a noisy environment....she was pretty adorable too hhaha...coz she has lived here for 3o to 40 years? n totally adopt singaporean slang n those alamak stuff....she is quite funny as well....we talk alot...she told us her family stuff...well we got to know that she married to a chinese singaporean man....she told us we were realli fortunate to live in singapore....its a bless to be here...rather than in other countries...coz she has experience from living in other countries...she even told us abt her personal stuff.....well we also talk abt "life"...n God....

eventually i dunno how we somehow chat until abt God....she ask us...'Do u believe in God?' well there is many different Gods for different culture...then she ask us again "Why do we have to pray n give offerings?"...somehow we replied tat becoz our family do so...."so wats de purpose of it?" somehow this kind of qns make mi stuck....actually i dunno if i realli believe in God...its like half half....well she is not trying to convert us or anything...she is juz sharing....she ask a lot of qns too...n even "challenge" God...like y should we believe or something....chatting with this friendly lady....somehow makes mi wonder too....we should ask Y....y r some ppl like tat....we realli chatted alot lol....

she even told us....we should not ask wats de reason if ppl come asking for help....a bit puzzle by this qns...she gave us an example...."give mi $10".....n usually ppl will ask "wat for?"....then she will replied "nvm forget it keep it to urself"...hmm well if u really truely wanna help...u wont ask wat for...coz tat person needs it tats y he is asking u....n she said we should not think so much...i dunno y but alvina of coz got her own thinking tat we ask wat for...is because we dun wan ppl to take de money or something to do bad stuff....so to mi is quite puzzling....

she ask us "where do u go after u die"....'heaven or hell" i replied...well of coz every1 is wanted to go to heaven...who wans to burn in hell 24hr?....well diff ppl diff views....some stuff i say might be quite sensitive issue...so i dun wish to say it in de blog....but she told us "never to accept triple 6 as it means Saturn which is de devil".....this statement....makes mi puzzle again....wat do she mean by tat....in de end...de point i gotten is tat anknowledge God n he will guide u to heaven....of coz muz believe in it....n de God i am refering to is Jesus....we heard the story b4...from friends from media....but whether to believe in Jesus is ur choice....she also told us to have character lol...n encourage us to keep asking "Why" lol....

well after we chatted....she gtg...n she was realli a friendly lady...she seems to know a lot of ppl at sebawang...some ppl will come n say hello to her....looks like she make a lot of friends haha...after she left...alvina n i went to de void decks...but i hav lost my interest in studying lol...so we chatted abt life...friendships etc....some how alvina told mi...we should be forgiving....n giv ppl a chance even though they hav hurt u b4....of coz we dun wan ppl to do the same thing back to us....so yea....bearing grudges is not good...unhealthy well.....sometimes its realli true tat one has to let go...no point holding it....as it only weighs u down....yea being bias is not good....God has eyes....he know wat u r doing n thinking....n nothing comes free in de world....lol i sound so like a christain hahaha....but this is wat i learn today...somehow all this chatting give mi a lesson of life....

should change my thinking....open my heart a bit know to know all kinds of ppl....so i can learn from them...instead of living in my own meaningless world....ppl learn from one another ritez...so they can change for de better....somehow...its good to embrace their bad points n help them realise...so tat they can improve themselves....one thing i learn from alvina....dun condem ppl....well easy to say...but will try to change...after all wat remains constant is 'change' isn't it?

OKI enuff essay writing...(actually still got long story) ahaha but oki la...tats all for blogging...but my head n heart getting a lot of weigh becoz of this thinking hahaha....maybe haven been using my brain much lol...so muz exercise my brain more...ignorant may not be a bliss....u have to know wat u are doing....n purpose of it....haha....kk tats all...!

Liar Game!

well today got distracted from studying...was browsing some friends' blog....then i came across da jie's blog abt a show call Liar Game...so i start to watch it lol....this is realli a GOOD SHOW! keep u in suspend n u cant resist to watch it till the end....to know the outcome....so today...i watched it till it ends lol...onli 11episodes....well de last episodes got repeat the whole drama again which some parts which were not shown in de beginning..some sort like revealing y they start this Liar game...

well the show....has bring us to some thoughts abt Human itself....the person who is behind the liar game din believe in human at all....he believed tat every1 is decieving n hurting one another...however there is one stupidly honest ger who saved them....every1 see her as stupid however...her stupidly honesty save this man n another guy the genius who is bend on revenge for his mother's death...

though the world is ugly n cruel....there is still some1 who believe n trust ppl with no doubts...well for mi....i cant lol....i onli believed those who r close to mi lol....for those who betrayed my trust....i will never let them in to hurt mi ever again....haha....N i am also a person who bear grudges wor! hahhaha....of coz though i try to build a good image of myself...its realli hard to please every1....in de end i cant be realli happy at all....at the same time i dun wan to create trouble for ppl....so contridicting eh? well tats y lol.....sometimes i will find myself in this kind of dilema situation....well...trying to be good at times will also be at disadvantage...sometimes ppl juz dun appreciate it...

punctuality suppose to be a good point becomes a bad point at times when going with SOME ppl(u noe who u r) i cant believe ger have to wait for some stupid guys for 45min....enough...trying to be nice is not good enuff....ppl will see this as a weak point n bully ya....so my trust in GUYS POOOOF vanish...i dun wanna bother abt guys anymore... i shall live my life happy with or without guys....tats y...the most treasured relationship...is still friendship.....

anyway...enuff talk~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOUnXUO-Eks this is de episode 1 of part 1 of Liar Game realli good show to watch!